On Coffee

I wrote this a long time ago during a poetry convention in Ontario; I ran into it recently in one of my old notebooks. I've included the "inspired by" credit because it was written just above the first stanza on the page, but I don't exactly remember "Passage" and it's entirely possible that note may have been meant for another poem. Who knows? Also, please don't mistake- - I have never had a sip of coffee in my life. This was an exercise to write descriptive fiction about an alternate life experience; to write a poem or story I often create an entirely alternate self and write from their perspective. This alternate self just happened to be a super-caffeinated office worker.



Inspired by "Passage" by Don Fisher Campbell


The cup of coffee in the morning
black poison but I like it.
stolen time from black beans ground
changed by cream and sugar to molasses
slides down my throat to coat the insides
a little soot to scrape out later
its hidden fire blazes in my eyes
for a moment
until all the work is done
except for the cold ash in
the hearth of my soul
(which I'll sweep out later)
left feeling down
but tired eyes sleepless
this time two cups
and a bit more sugar
might be enough to
get me out of my chair
keep me warm until the next
Grail of Borrowed Life
in the morning

Silent Remedy

During times of stress, I find enjoyment in seeking out those quiet little moments in the day that often we overlook or take for granted. Sometimes driving home at night after a long day at work I'll turn off the radio and the cd player, and drive home in the dark in quiet contemplation. Or, I'll wait until I reach my house then turn off the engine lights and just sit there in complete silence for a couple minutes. It's like sitting in a soundproof box; there is nothing like soaking up the silence and darkness before confronting the noise of the home that I love so very much. In a world of television, movies, washing machines, ticking clocks, and buzzing electric lights, sometimes a moment of silence is more precious than all the time in the world.

the hunger of
a silver medalist
must be beyond
those of a
how-to-book chemist
half-cooked amateur
garnishing
skewered hopes
yet
lacks the drive
of an early juicy
breakfast
good night sleep
and that awful
fated gift
raw talent

my
little tree
my little tree
unbending
not
bending in the wind
on mountain
sides over
cliff canyon reach
out branch
leaf and pine
green
from matchless
height
for such a
small body held
by deep

deep

roots

Mosquitoes

So recently one of the great questions in life was answered for me. Unfortunately, it also means that I have to love what is probably the most repulsive and annoying creatures ever to walk the face of the earth. What good, really, are mosquitoes to the world? Why did God make them? To scourge the wicked? Feed hungry bats? Well, I finally found someone with a good answer.

If you think about it, besides the oceans, most of the places in the world that remain green and undeveloped by rampant human 'development' remain that way because they are warm and damp and breeding grounds for... you guessed it. Mosquitoes. It turns out that Mosquitoes seem to be big "Do Not Enter, Keep out" signs for the human race at large, thus preserving enough lush greenery on the face of the planet to recycle our oxygen and keep things moving.

If it weren't for mosquitoes holding us back somewhat it is entirely possible we would have devastated the landscape to the point that Someone would have had to intervene and stop us from suffocating ourselves on our own planet. Or perhaps Someone did intervene, and that's why we have the Mosquito. So now when I thank my creator for the birds and butterflies, chocolate and writing paper, I must also give thanks for the Mosquito who reminds me not to build so much that I mess up my planet's beauty and consequently die a horrible death.

Leaving you with that pleasant thought
Beloved J.

Institute Tuesday, 16 March 2010: Indefatigable

There were so many great topics covered in that short hour and a half class, but I just can't write about them all. The scripture we studied for that night was Helaman chapters 10 through 16, covering both the prophecies of Nephi (the son of Nephi, the son of Helaman) and the brief but powerful ministry of Samuel the Lamanite to among the Nephites. The first item of discussion was focused on the word 'Ponder,' essentially that in thinking about something, especially when it is Gospel related, often requires asking questions. Most of the revelation present in the Doctrine and Covenants for example arose from prophets and individuals who thought of questions and took the extra step to ask God what the answer was. Thanks to them we have so many wonderful gifts of guidance from our Heavenly Father.

Secondly, Brother Clark discussed the concept of 'Unwearyingness' a trait used to describe Nephi in his missionary efforts. For example, after a long time of work Nephi is headed home when he is visited by the Lord and given the Sealing Power. Immediately after receiving this great blessing, Nephi halts his return trip and returns back to the great city to continue his ministry. His level of diligence was incredible. Brother Clark presented an alternative (and somewhat more impressive sounding) word to describe such a person: indefatigable. Basically it means you are not fatigued, or untiring in your labors.Such a trait is certainly something to seek after; he suggested trying things like making a chart of steps or goals towards that end or finding someone who possesses that trait and observing them so that you may emulate their practice of it.

In this discussion we were reminded of King Benjamin's admonishment (I paraphrase) "to not run faster than you have strength." I am always more than wiling to bite off more than I can chew in my day, and when I make a "to do list" there often seems to be more on it by the end than when I started it. And when you look at the list of activities, hobbies, clubs, and organizations I have been involved in you might think that I have a bad case of ADHD. It has been a tough lesson to learn that sometimes I just need to say 'no' and not try and do everything just because it is good or fun or invigorating. The conference address several years ago "Good, Better, Best" was definitely written for the likes of me. Not to overload yourself was a lesson I learned the hard way, and am still learning.

The lesson ended with a reflection of a part of God's message for us. The adversary is quick to point out our mistakes, flaws, and the direness of out situation. However, God is there to tell us not to be discouraged and that through him and by his son we can do something about whatever problem/weakness/mistake we might face. I mean, if we have the potential to serve and to rule in God's Kingdom, what is a little earthly trial to us? Just a pop quiz in one of the longest, hardest classes we've ever taken.

On General Conference...

General Conference is only a few short weeks away, and already I am impatient to hear the news of the coming year. I just started going through the online archives of the previous general conferences beginning at 1997, where the farthest back I can go on the list. After reading the opening remarks by President Hinckley I was amazed at the changes that have gone on in just the few short years that I've been alive. In his introduction in 1997, President Hinckley announced the groundbreaking of the Conference Center at Temple Square. I almost laughed when I read his description: "It will be used for general conference and for other purposes that are in harmony with the reasons for which it is being built. The stage will be such that it can accommodate a large pageant. We may not fill it initially, but we are building for the long term."

I thought it interesting that he was concerned that initially it would not be filled to capacity. Today, at least as I understand it since I've never actually been there, the church has to restrict the number of people permitted to attend. People from all over the world gather there. Also, I was impressed that in that same meeting President Hinckley announced the formation of the Area Authority Seventies, a really revolutionary organizational change that would allow the church to grow indefinitely. To think that all this happened when I was 7, and I didn't even realize it! It makes me wonder what kind of new revelation and changes are going to take place this year. I'll definitely be sitting there with my pen and pad ready to jump on anything President Monson and all the others have to say. I failed this time to get up to Salt Lake and watch the conference in person, but maybe next time.

Hope you'll all be listening.
Beloved J

He Didn't Have To Be.

This is one of those songs that is the reason I fell in love with country music (at least this part of it). I'm a real sucker for these stories... plus Brad Paisley is an amazing guitar player and lyricist. Just thought I'd share this video because it makes me feel good. The little kid is adorable. When he gets to go to the movie, I feel like shouting "yes!" out loud (Of course I didn't because everyone in the library would have looked at me oddly, but I still celebrated quietly to myself).