A Poem Just Starting Out

Thank you for reading me.

I’m a poem just starting out

And every reader counts.

I was so nervous before coming out on the page

That you’ve taken the time to get through the first stanza

Really means a lot to me.

Please don’t go yet!

I promise I won’t be too long.

I know I’m not the most entertaining poem

Or the most beautiful one,

But I can’t help it.  My writer’s still learning.

He did his best

And I really try my best.  I do.

At first I wanted to be a romantic poem.

Then a comedic one,

Then I decided it’s best to just be me.

Can I really be anything else?

My form isn’t perfect

But I like me just the way I am.

What do you think?

  

Someday I want to be in a book. A good book,

One that people everywhere will read.

I’ll stand tall. People will laugh, or cry,

Or just smile at me,

Turn me to their neighbor and say “look at this one!”

That would be great.  It’s nice to be wanted.

Have you ever tried writing a poem?

If not, I hope you do because it’s wonderful being one.

I’m alive, I speak, I play with words.

If only my writer could see me now,

Where I’ve gone, who has read me.

Maybe I’ll be around longer than he will? 

I could tell everyone about him!

Hey, look at my writer!  He made me!

I wonder if I have brothers and sisters. I’m sure I do.

How could I meet them?  Maybe one will be on the opposite page.

If I yell “Hello!” will they hear me?

We could get our own book together,

A collection all our own.

I hope they are happy poems, like me.

It’s so good to be happy.

It seems that I’m coming to an end.

This time with you has been real fun.

Read me again any time you like. I’ll be here waiting.

We’re friends now, aren’t we?

But I know there are all kinds of things waiting on the next page.

You better turn it.  I hope you have a wonderful time.

So long!  Thank you for reading me, 

a poem just starting out.

I'll Wait Forever

      A while ago Andy Grammer came to Provo gave an amazing concert at BYU.  He sang this song "Forever" that hasn't been recorded yet, only performed live.  I'm pretty sure it was just about everyone's favorite song by the end of the night.  I'm waiting for its release so I can have it for my own, but it seems as though it will be "forever" before it comes.  In the meantime there are two recordings of it I listen to, provided below.
    The first video is a random concert video which I only listen to because it is the clearest version I can find of the song.

    The second isn't complete, but it's a recording from the Provo concert where I heard it for the first time.  I would like to point out the difference in excitement between the two crowds.  This is because in Provo, although we do not drink (I would even argue it is partly because of this fact), we know how to party.

    I haven't been able to find them anywhere, so I took the liberty of transcribing the lyrics of this unreleased single myself.  Introducing the lyrics of Andy Grammer's "Forever":

Forever

By Andy Grammer

It’s amazing the time that it’s taking

for you to come out here

I don’t know what you’re doin there

There’s only so many ways

you can change how light will hit your face

Or how you can fix your hair

Cause you only got two eyes two lips so wide

It shouldn’t really take long at all

But when you finally smile cause

It’s just right

Babe you look beautiful

But you take forever ever ever ever

Then you’re always worth waiting for

You take forever ever ever ever

I guess I’ll wait a little more

Now I know it’s time I realize I’m a be spendin half my life

With my back up against the door

Cause you take forever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever

But you’re always worth waiting for

And you lie through your teeth when you try to convince me

That you’ll be

That you’ll be out in less than five

Because we both know that the only way you will let me in

Is if we set this whole place on fire

You already said you had the perfect dress

So why you gotta try them all

No matter how late it gets I must confess

Babe you look beautiful

But you take forever ever ever ever

But you’re always worth waiting for

You take forever ever ever ever

I guess I’ll wait a little more

Now I know it’s time I realize I’m a be spendin half my life

With my back up against the door

Cause you take forever ever ever ever ever ever ever

But you’re always worth waiting for

Say hey

I guess you treat me well

Because I always end up singing to myself

You take forever long

I’ll wait forever long

You take forever ever ever ever

But you’re always worth waiting for

You take forever ever ever ever

I guess I’ll wait a little more.

     Do I really need to say more? I feel that this perfectly describes my feelings toward women.  There are things women do that in the "man" style of thinking make absolutely no sense.  Sometimes I just don't think that way or even truly understand how you as a 'woman' feel.  But, deep down, those things outside of my understanding are just the things that are so fascinating and attractive about women.  Could it be infuriating that we're always late, that my side of the closet is mostly filled with your shoes or that sometimes, for no reason at all, you need to cry without me trying "fix" things?  Yes, but it's not.  It's adorable.  Being late because of a woman is a badge of honor.  That one special woman, in particular, is "always worth waiting for."

A Day of Celebration

     Today is really a day to count my blessings.  I started my first job on BYU campus, which has turned out to be more of a blessing than I could have imagined.  Today is also the one year anniversary of my return home from serving as a missionary in São Paulo, Brazil.  My roommates and I are about to celebrate with rice, brownies, fries, and a large order of Buffalo Wild Wings.  I am sore, but so very very happy.
     I've spent the last month or so searching for jobs nearby that either a) pay good money full-time or b) provide experience in my area of study.  Unfortunately, every job I applied to rejected me.  There were a few part-time options off-campus that might have worked out, but although the pay was good I wouldn't be able to get the hours I needed; when I prayed about them I just didn't get a good feeling either.
     Now I'm working outside on a grounds crew mowing lawns and such, at what is slightly under CA's minimum wage.  I was pretty frustrated in myself for picking up a job like that- it is by far the lowest I have ever been payed for my time in my life.  I was almost regretting my decision to stay here in Utah instead of going home for the summer.  After my first day, though, I've had the nagging feeling that this is a blessing from my Father in heaven.  Despite the low pay, I'll still meet my goal this summer to make enough for me to finish school and graduate.  Work is a full day, but it starts early enough in the morning that I can still do all kinds of things before the day is over.  I also spend all day outside in the sun, so I enjoy the beautiful weather, get dirty, a descent tan, and all kinds of exercise.  When I got home, I was in a good mood and all warmed up for my exercise routine (that's why I'm sore, work itself wasn't really that rigorous).  I feel like this job is possibly one of the best things that could have happened to my summer because it gets me outside, in shape, and leaves me motivated for a productive day.  Not to mention my coworkers are pretty great.  What I thought was a last-resort job may end up being just what I needed.
      Just finished my Wild Wings.  Just what I needed; my body was crying out for rice and protein.
     On top of that, there was no better way to celebrate a year back in the real world than a visit to the temple. Tonight was Stake Sealing Night which I've wanted to go to all semester, but I never could because I was in Salt Lake every Thursday for my internship.  Tonight was my first time doing sealings and I just couldn't stop smiling.  So many of my friends were there and the covenants we were helping the deceased to make were so beautiful.  I feel like I learned so much from the experience and I look forward to the day when I'll be able to receive those blessings for myself and my own family.
     
   

On my heart.

It takes time to write a name on my heart.

Once inscribed it stays for a lifetime.

To tear it out would be painful—and leave a scar—

so I’ll write yours in another place first.

I might write your name on wood, but that’s awkward

to carry around.  Wood gets lost

and forgotten.

I could write it in stone, but stone is cold

and committing.  It’s hard to work with and easy

to make mistakes.

I might write in the air, but no one

would see it.  A name is meant

to be shared.

To write in snow would be nice, but it’s cold

and it’s ice.  A name would simply

melt away.

No. Your name I’ll write in sand—sand is warm

and free.  I could write it big enough to see.

Though it will change and fade,

rewriting day after day will help me remember.

And once my calloused fingers trace the lines without thought

and the earth knows each letter before it appears,

I’ll write my name next to yours and—if it fits—

I’ll know your name is right for my heart.

Cedo ou Tarde

     This is one of my favorite songs in Portuguese sung by the band NxZero.  Below is my own English translation of the lyrics:

Cedo ou Tarde (Sooner or Later)

When I lose my faith

I’m out of control

And I feel bad, without hope.

And all around me

There is envy

Making people

Hate each other more.

I feel alone

But I know that I’m not

Because I carry you in my thoughts.

My fear goes away

I regain my faith

And I feel that some day

I’ll still see you again,

Sooner or later.

Sooner or later

We will meet again,

I am certain, in a better place

I know that when I sing that you can hear me.

You make me want to live

And what is ours

Is hid safely

In me and in you

And just that is enough.

I feel alone

But I know that I’m not

Because I carry you in my thoughts.

My fear goes away

I regain my faith

And I feel that some day

I’ll still see you again,

Sooner or later.

Sooner or later

We will meet again,

I am certain, in a better place

I know that when I sing that you can hear me.

     I just love the hopeful outlook the lyrics have toward the future.  I don't know who the song is directed toward but I like to imagine a loving Heavenly Father looking down on us, his children, who seem so far away.  He can hear us singing but it's often hard for us to believe that.

     My favorite line is, "Me sinto só, mas eu sei que não estou" because it describes simply and eloquently what life on earth is like especially when I'm passing through a trial.  I feel alone, but I know deep down inside I know that I'm not.  With everyone moving away for the summer sometimes it's like that, too.  Looking around there aren't as many cars as usual and so many of my friends are off in far away lands and their hometowns.  Me, I'm sitting in my apartment putting my life in order and finishing up job applications.  Still I know that there will be plenty of new, as well as old, friends this summer and my life is really going swell.  Sooner or later a million things will be going on and I should really take advantage of this alone time in an empty apartment to rest up and prepare myself for those times.

     Another advantage of this free time is the opportunity I have to spend it on my knees.  During the school year I needed heavenly assistance more times than I can count and I felt really close to my Heavenly Father nearly all the time.  Now that things have calmed down I don't have as many emergencies to take to Him every day, but that means I'll have to try even harder to maintain our good relationship.  I don't want to forget that I need Him just because life is going well.  There's so much that I should do for Him so that when we meet again "sooner or later" I'll know Him because I've done his work.

      It feels good to be back on the blog.  The gospel is true, Heavenly Father hears our prayers and has a plan for us.  Sooner or later we will see His face and the face of our Redeemer again, and I'm more than certain it will be the happiest of reunions.